The Gift of Adaptable, Horse-Led Healing
I love to create adaptable exercises—tools that work with what you have, where you are, with whoever shows up (human or horse). Recently, I put my own Holiday Reflective Exercise to the test, not with cones, but with my three horses. Each one became a living, breathing station for reflection.

And what emerged was far more than I expected.

My Three Horses, My Three Questions

Belle: What Am I Carrying?
Belle is an older, wise mare. Dependable. Steady. The kind of horse who holds space without asking anything of you.

As I stood with her, I reflected on what I've been carrying into this season: the loss of vehicles during a summer storm.

That might sound minor. But one of those vehicles was my favorite car—the one we bought so my aging mom could get in and out easily. During COVID, when we weren't allowed into the care facility, they'd let me take her for drives. We'd cruise the familiar roads she'd known her whole life. She was born in this are...

We were getting ready for a ride. Everyone was saddled up and warming up in the pen. Cambria was trying out an English saddle on Belle and was walking over the bridge in the obstacle course when suddenly Belle became agitated. She began stamping her feet, clearly distressed. Something was hurting her—and she was trying to manage that pain while carrying a rider.

I ran over quickly and started running my hands up and down Belle’s legs to see what was wrong. There was no visible injury, but it was obvious that something had stung her. The pain lingered even after the cause—later discovered to be a wasp’s nest under the bridge—was gone. We were able to remove the nest, but the sting and the experience stayed with us for the rest of the day.

That wasp sting mirrors the sting of grief.

Loss, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a major change in our relationships, work, health, or a traumatic experience involving our horses, often hits us unexpectedly. We try to wipe it away, move past...

Has life felt like a constant stream of losses lately?

Maybe something unexpected happened—like the death of a loved one or a difficult diagnosis from your doctor. Then came challenges at work, tension in your relationships, or a sense of not being seen or valued by others. These small but painful moments build up. You start to feel anxious, disconnected, or overwhelmed. You avoid friends. You drift from your routines. And inside, you feel like screaming—but you hold it all together with sheer force of will.

Here’s the truth:
We’re not created to soldier through crisis after crisis without support. Our emotions are meant to be felt, acknowledged, and expressed—not buried.

Grief is a natural response to the emotional pain of loss. And yet, many of us have never been taught how to navigate it.

Why We Stay Silent

Our culture tells us to wear the mask.
Be strong. Stay confident. Don’t let anyone see your confusion or unraveling.

But the reality is—we need to pause.
We need to listen ...